Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Runaway Co-host



Goldenrod Alert! Shannon Wiseman was missing from last night's telecast of Atlanta Tonight. Authorities report that she was last seen either:
(a) being hustled into a Mazda Miata by an ethnic-appearing man or woman, approximately between 5' - 7', medium build, brown or off-brown hair.
(b) aboard a Greyhound bus bound for Albuquerque (allegedly, she was overheard saying to the bus driver "Albuquerque? Sounds like it might be awesome!"
(c) passed-out, faced-down, on Cypress St., next to the dumpster at Halo.
If anyone has any further details or any other information, please contact UPN 69. Don't worry Tammy! She'll be back! (And if she's not, I'm sure you'll find someone else equally awesome to replace her).

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Voodoo Enronomics

Feudalism: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
Fascism: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk.

Communism: You have two cows. You must take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.

Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

Enron Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt-equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred through an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The Enron annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.

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