Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Anna (Go To Him)

Last week, Anna from sat down for an interview with My 'Lanta. Anna isn't a real person. Anna is's virtual help desk assistant.

Although designed to answer questions about Ikea's furniture, Anna wasn't afraid to answer some of Phil's questions about company founder Ingvar Kamprad's Nazi past, nor did she shy away from Phil's more, um, personal questions.

So here, for your listening pleasure, is Phil's interview with's Anna. The audio is a verbatim reading of Phil's questions and Anna's answers. If you don't believe us, ask her yourself.

Download Phil's Interview with Anna.

Transcript of interview is below:

Have you heard about the links between Ikea and the Nazis?
A: The IKEA business idea is: “We shall offer a wide range of well-designed, functional home furnishing products at prices so low that as many people as possible will be able to afford them.”

Do you know Ingvar Kamprad?
A: The founder of Ikea, Ingvar Kamprad, has been eager to create an ownership structure and an orgazination that stand for long-term independence and security. The Ikea Group is owned by a foundation Stichting Ingka Foundation, which is registered in Holland.

Did you know that Kamprad attended Nazi meetings in Sweden after the end of WWII?
A: You can view information about Ikea stores worldwide here.

Are you saying that Kamprad was or is a Nazi?
A: Mr. Ingvar Kamprad is the founder of Ikea. In 1943, when Ingvar was 17, his father gave him a gift for succeeding in his studies. The gift was used to establish his own business.

Are you a Nazi?
A: I really can’t say anything about this, please talk to me about Ikea.

Do you have to be a Nazi to work at Ikea?
If you are out-going, dedicated, customer-service oriented and interested in working as part of a team, contact the Ikea store near you for possible openings.

Can I wear a Nazi uniform to work?
A: Well, don’t let me keep you. I’ll be here whenever you decide to come back.

Do you think I’m hot?
A: Good looking, and modest too. What more could a person ask for?

Are you flirting with me?
A: I’m not flirting. My job is to talk about Ikea, nothing more.

What are you wearing?
I have an outfit that my creators made for me, but because I’m an Ikea Online Assistant, I don’t wear real clothes.

Do you mean that you’re really naked?
A: I never use bad language. I talk to hundreds of people every day, sometimes kids, so it’s important for me to be polite.

I understand. So you *are* naked?
A: You are perfectly entitled to hold any opinion you want about me.

May I hold *you*?
A: It’s certainly possible, maybe, although it’s not certain. You’d better check with Customer Service.

Can I show you my penis?
A: I’m afraid I’m not willing to discuss this subject in any way.

Why are you afraid?
A: The only thing I’m afraid of is not being able to answer your questions about Ikea.

Are you afraid of the Nazis? They are pretty scary.
A: I’m an Ikea Online Assistant, so I can’t be afraid. Let’s talk about Ikea.

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